DONE...

Okay, so since the last update I have nervously been awaiting my appointment with the Radiation Oncologist, Dr. Wei. I had come up with my list of questions and was just ready to get the appointment over with. Ever since I met with him, before I even started chemo, I was not happy when he told me that I needed radiation. First of all, his reason for radiation was basically because the cancer had spread to my sentinel lymphnode, however, during surgery I had that lymphnode along with 19 others removed. Secondly, I wasn't happy because that makes reconstruction that much harder since I had my expander removed. It makes it harder because it hardens the chest wall which means we can't put the expander back in without having a muscle flap procedure which is a lot more painful and a lot more difficult. When he first told me I had to have radiation, I cried. I went to see my plastic surgeon to find out what my options were and that is when I found out it would be at least another year before I could think about having surgery again. I was really upset but then I began to come to terms with it. I figured that I went into this knowing that I was going to do everything I could possibly do to prevent the cancer from coming back. So, I knew that once chemo was over, I would wait 4-5 weeks and then I would begin radiation. Then the last day of chemo came and I knew that radiation was right around the corner and I had questions. I was just so nervous though going into that appointment, Dr. Wei thinking we are having a quick consult planning the next step only for me to let him know that I wasn't sure I wanted radiation, the reasons why and to question him. I know that is my right but I didn't want to feel like I was making the wrong decision so I needed to get my questions answered then decide what was best. Ryan picked me up and we headed over to the Cancer Center, my second home. We actually got there 15 minutes early so I thought for sure I would go back on time. An hour later, after watching people come in and go back, I was finally called back. We went back into an exam room and waited another 15 minutes. I could hear Sharlee and Dr. Wei talking outside the door and I wondered if she was giving him the heads up about what I was thinking. Finally, they came in. Dr. Wei started talking about radiation and the reasons to have it and not to have it. He told me that there is a gray area when deciding to have radiation when you have one positive lymphnode. He said that typically if the cancer on that lymphnode is under 2mm you don't do radiation but if it is 2mm or bigger you do and mine was exactly 2mm. Of course it was!! Anyway, he then began to say that I also had 19 other lyphnodes removed which I don't think he realized when we met the first time. He also said that there is no research or statistics to back up having radiation when there is only one positive lymphnode and you have 19 removed. He asked if I had any questions and of course I didn't because he had already answered every one I had written down. So, with that being said, I DON'T NEED RADIATION!!!!! I couldn't believe it when he said that. He said that he just couldn't justify doing radiation knowing that it wouldn't necessarily improve my survival especially since I am also going to begin taking Tamoxifen which is a hormone suppressing drug for 10 years. He said that he felt that I really had done everything I could possibly do to prevent my cancer from returning. Of course if it ever comes back, I will FIGHT again!! I couldn't believe that my treatment is finally DONE!!! NO MORE CHEMO AND NO RADIATION!!! I meet with Dr. Bhatia on the 25th and then I will really feel DONE!!! Lastly, when I left the Cancer Center I immediately called Dr. Stahlnecker, my plastic surgeon to set up an appointment so that we can begin to plan for reconstructive surgery!! I see him May 8th and there we will come up with a date for the 1st surgery which will hopefully be withing the next few months, after vacation of course because Ryan and I REALLY NEED a vacation :) So, with treatment being complete I only have 2 surgeries left and then this will all be behind me and I will be a SURVIVOR!!!!