The Fight: May 2014

I know that New Boobies sounds a little crazy lol :) Well, this is something I have been looking forward to!! Since I had surgery in November, I have been looking forward to this but i never thought I would be through so much in months. Since my diagnosis I have been through a mastectomy with reconstruction, an infection where I spent a night in the ER and surgery hours later to remove the reconstruction that had been done, the loss of my grandfather that meant so much to me and has supported me through this journey and was there the day of my surgery and had cancer at the same time I did and didn't even know it, my first day back to work, the words that meant SURVIVOR and now the chance to redo my reconstruction!! When I say a lot has happened, it isn't an understatement!! March 28th I completed my last chemo!! It was so exciting but of course it was something I never thought I would feel excited about!! Afterwards, I had the opportunity to spend 1 week with my grandfather that had been there from the beginning, supporting me, and I was there supporting him. He got a blood clot in his leg in February and never in my wildest dreams did I ever imagine that he would have been told it was PANCREATIC CANCER!! Really?!?! Cancer DOES NOT run in our family!!! What are the chances that 2 of us would have cancer at the same time? He was at my surgery supporting me and who knew that he had cancer at the same time?? It is still mind boggling to me. After I had the opportunity to spend 1 week with him I had no idea it would be the last time we would have an actual conversation. After that week, I came home and shortly after he went into the hospital after having a stroke. I couldn't believe it. I was devastated. I was able to talk to him on the phone but not long enough because it was too tiring for him. I felt like I had been through so much and I was doing so well and he was one of my BIGGEST supporters, it wasn't fair that he was going through this! I struggled with the fact that I was doing so well but yet he was not. I just couldn't feel happy for myself and still struggle with it. After a couple weeks, he passed on April 21, 2014. It is still hard for me but I am grateful that he called me more than normal just to see how I was doing, he came to IN to visit 2 times which I thought he would NEVER do and we seemed closer than ever. Since then, I have seen my Oncologist, Dr. Bhatia and he said, " I won't say mission accomplished, but I will say that we accomplished what we hoped to!!" I was hoping to hear the words, CANCER FREE but the nurse that came in afterwards to flush my port said that Dr. Bhatia just doesn't say that. I get it but I was hoping for it but I will take "we accomplished what we hoped to!" I was started on a pill for my hot flashes because they have been out of control. Ryan asked him him the million dollar question "can we have children?" Basically he said that at this point I have gone through menopause (chemopause) and in 1 year I should know if this is permanent. He said that at my age I have a very good chance that it will reverse itself but he can't be 100% sure that it will so we just have to give it time. He also started me on Tamoxifen which is a hormone suppressant that I will take for the next 2-3 years. I have to take a hormone suppressant because my cancer was hormone positive so this pill will help to decrease the risk of me developing breast cancer again. Now, since seeing my Oncologist, I have also seen my Plastic Surgeon Dr. Stahlnecker!! I was so excited to see him since we had originally thought I was going to have to have the muscle flap surgery that honestly would have SUCKED!! Now, since I don't have to have radiation, I don't have to have the muscle flap surgery and I can just have the expander replaced!! I can't believe it!! So much has happened in the last 6 months and everything that could go wrong did go wrong but I was blessed to find out that I didn't have to have radiation so my reconstruction could begin!!! I am beyond ecstatic about this and I wish my Papaw was here to see it but I know he is watching over me and knows exactly how blessed I am :) So, I am now waiting for a phone call from the surgery center to tell me when my reconstruction can begin!! I can't believe I have beat this awful disease but I have and I am ready to move past it and get back to normal life :)

Okay okay, I know I have been negligent in updating this blog so this is way past due considering Race for the Cure was April 12. In my defense, A LOT has happened since then. Anyway, on April 12, 2014 at Military Park in downtown Indianapolis, I had to opportunity to join thousands of other breast cancer SURVIVORS as well as honor those who have lost the battle in the race to find a cure for this disease. I know people that have participated in Race for the Cure multiple times but I for one have never had the opportunity to participate myself. I have always known that it is a big deal and a lot of people participate but really, until I was diagnosed with breast cancer myself I never realized how many people are affected by this nasty disease. I don't mean to sound naive but I honestly just never thought about it. About a month before the race, Fishers sends out a monthly magazine and in the March issue there was an article about Race for the Cure. In the article it talked about how last year there were something like 25,000 people that walked in downtown Indy. WOW!!! I had no idea it was that big!! So, I knew we were in for something special when we decided to be part of it. Before the race, Ryan created a team for us so that we could raise money and he named it Holly's Rack Pack!! I loved the name :) Once the team was created on the Komen website, it automatically creates an email that can be shared with others so that they are aware of your plan to walk and raise money. Ryan set our team goal at $1,000. Almost immediately people started joining our team and donating money. Once again, I was so overwhelmed by the amount of support. I realized again how many FABULOUS friends I have that have been with me in this fight and AMAZING family support of course. When you signed up to be part of the team, you pay the fee to race and of course you receive a t-shirt just like you do for any race. Long before registering for the race we talked about making our own shirts. After about a week of people registering and donating money I asked Ryan if we should still make our own team shirts. He said probably not since people will be paying for their Susan G Komen Shirt. I asked him to go ahead and design one and see what happens. So, he contacted one of my best friend's brothers and asked if he could assist and in one night they came up with a design. We released it the next day and believe it or not we sold 57 t-shirts. The t-shirts were $10 but we sold them for $20 so that half of the proceeds could go to Susan G Komen. We were able to make a $570 donation to Susan G Komen!!!! That was so amazing and meant so much to me. I had no idea so many people would want to buy a Holly's Rack Pack shirt :) When we arrived at the race, there was not a parking spot in sight. We had to park about 1.5 miles away. CRAZY right ?!?! Anyway...once we got there, we made our way to the SURVIVOR tent. I went through and they were giving away patches to survivors. When they got to me, they asked, "how long have you been a survivor?" I thought for a minute and realized it had only been about 2 weeks since my last chemo treatment so, I said, "2 weeks!!!" To my surprise, everyone cheered!!! It was the most awesome feeling I have ever felt. I deserved it!! I had fought hard and had been through so much over the last few months, I deserved that cheer, I earned that cheer!!! However, they gave me a medal and a patch and it all still felt so surreal. It still doesn't seem real. After that, we met my team before the walk. I had about 25 people with me and I have never felt so supported!!! Of course my family has ALWAYS supported me in EVERYTHING but this was different. It is hard to explain the feeling. I had friends, and people that I had only worked with for a few weeks that cared enough to be part of this experience. And an experience it was!! It was moving and happy and sad all at the same time!! I felt victorious but sad for those who had lost their lives in the fight as well. We walked about 1.5 miles just to get to the start line!!! Can you believe that?!?! A 5k ended up being about 5.5 miles but it was SO WORTH IT!!! I will be part of the Susan G Komen Race from here on out. While at the race we had several people comment about our shirts which made me feel so good!! Since then, we have had multiple people ask about them so we are ordering more!! It is so unbelievable!! We set our donation goal at $1,000 and we finished at $2,898!!! Can you believe that??? Now that we are selling more shirts, we will be able to make a donation and probably reach $3,000!!! I never in my wildest dreams thought we could raise that much money for breast cancer research!!! I just want to thank everyone that was involved!! I know that a thank you isn't enough but it means more to me than you will ever know!!!!!!!! :) I am more than grateful to be a SURVIVOR and I pray for those everyday that are diagnosed that they will will SURVIVORS as well :)