Like a BOSS...

I know that New Boobies sounds a little crazy lol :) Well, this is something I have been looking forward to!! Since I had surgery in November, I have been looking forward to this but i never thought I would be through so much in  months. Since my diagnosis I have been through a mastectomy with reconstruction, an infection where I spent a night in the ER and surgery hours later to remove the reconstruction that had been done, the loss of my grandfather that meant so much to me and has supported me through this journey and was there the day of my surgery and had cancer at the same time I did and didn't even know it, my first day back to work, the words that meant SURVIVOR and now the chance to redo my reconstruction!! When I say a lot has happened, it isn't an understatement!! March 28th I completed my last chemo!! It was so exciting but of course it was something I never thought I would feel excited about!! Afterwards, I had the opportunity to spend 1 week with my grandfather that had been there from the beginning, supporting me, and I was there supporting him. He got a blood clot in his leg in February and never in my wildest dreams did I ever imagine that he would have been told it was PANCREATIC CANCER!! Really?!?! Cancer DOES NOT run in our family!!! What are the chances that 2 of us would have cancer at the same time? He was at my surgery supporting me and who knew that he had cancer at the same time?? It is still mind boggling to me. After I had the opportunity to spend 1 week with him I had no idea it would be the last time we would have an actual conversation. After that week, I came home and shortly after he went into the hospital after having a stroke. I couldn't believe it. I was devastated. I was able to talk to him on the phone but not long enough because it was too tiring for him. I felt like I had been through so much and I was doing so well and he was one of my BIGGEST supporters, it wasn't fair that he was going through this! I struggled with the fact that I was doing so well but yet he was not. I just couldn't feel happy for myself and still struggle with it. After a couple weeks, he passed on April 21, 2014. It is still hard for me but I am grateful that he called me more than normal just to see how I was doing, he came to IN to visit 2 times which I thought he would NEVER do and we seemed closer than ever. Since then, I have seen my Oncologist, Dr. Bhatia and he said, " I won't say mission accomplished, but I will say that we accomplished what we hoped to!!" I was hoping to hear the words, CANCER FREE but the nurse that came in afterwards to flush my port said that Dr. Bhatia just doesn't say that. I get it but I was hoping for it but I will take "we accomplished what we hoped to!" I was started on a pill for my hot flashes because they have been out of control. Ryan asked him him the million dollar question "can we have children?" Basically he said that at this point I have gone through menopause (chemopause) and in 1 year I should know if this is permanent. He said that at my age I have a very good chance that it will reverse itself but he can't be 100% sure that it will so we just have to give it time. He also started me on Tamoxifen which is a hormone suppressant that I will take for the next 2-3 years. I have to take a hormone suppressant because my cancer was hormone positive so this pill will help to decrease the risk of me developing breast cancer again. Now, since seeing my Oncologist, I have also seen my Plastic Surgeon Dr. Stahlnecker!! I was so excited to see him since we had originally thought I was going to have to have the muscle flap surgery that honestly would have SUCKED!! Now, since I don't have to have radiation, I don't have to have the muscle flap surgery and I can just have the expander replaced!! I can't believe it!! So much has happened in the last 6 months and everything that could go wrong did go wrong but I was blessed to find out that I didn't have to have radiation so my reconstruction could begin!!! I am beyond ecstatic about this and I wish my Papaw was here to see it but I know he is watching over me and knows exactly how blessed I am :) So, I am now waiting for a phone call from the surgery center to tell me when my reconstruction can begin!! I can't believe I have beat this awful disease but I have and I am ready to move past it and get back to normal life :)